another day without my dad

Before the day breaks

The opening of New York City sounds like 

Wind and exhaust pipes

And sirens, and stillness.

In my dark hotel room

I read that an innocent man has been executed.

Up earlier than my alarm clock, again,

I scroll

And hear a king sunny ade song.

What begins as a single tear evolves into a steady stream.

I weep. 

He was one of your favorite artists and

it was recently his birthday.

If only you had made it to yours

The thing about waves of grief is

when they grab hold of you,

there's no escaping --

only in despair you must find your way through

until you can breathe above the surface again.

I glance at the clock

not sure I'll make it to my first meeting of the day.

none of the masks I've been wearing

will be able to coordinate with today's look,

swollen and red shot eyes.

Sitting up, I wait.

Wondering who to call at the early hour.

to my surprise, while my phone was on do not disturb,

-- earlier than my alarm clock --

an old friend sent me the link to a song.

Soon Ah Will Be Done

6:17am

The negro spiritual in the video, unbeknownst to her,

was being covered by someone I knew from graduate school.

the soothing baritone voice was every ounce of salve needed

for my current dilemma.

I learned long ago not to believe in coincidences.

The pain of losing of my earthly father,

The intentionality of my heavenly one.

Another day without my dad.

Soon I will be done-a with the troubles of the world,

Going home to live with God. 

No more weeping and a-wailing,

I’m going to live with God. 

I want to meet my mother,

I want to meet my father,

I want to meet my Jesus,

I’m going to live with God.